Style Invitation Contest Week 1491: Add a letter to a word to form a new one; plus winning ‘grandfoals’

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Arbyss: The deepest part of the stomach, reserved for two giant roast beefs, large curly fries, and a chocolate shake. (Danny Organek)

Auntiques: The crocheted tea cosies and the scented stationery. (Deborah Guy)

Antagonism: A form of menacing mind control that parents practice on their children every December. (Lawrence McGuire)

Empress > Seductress: Someone who keeps tempting me with the illusory hope of a prize. (Steve Glomb)

The Style Invitational had one [your noun here]- tons of neologism contests where you change a word, name, etc. by one letter – add, omit, move. But rarely, if ever, have we run a pure add-on in the last 1,490 competitions. Longtime loser Steve Glomb proposes such a contest, but with an added opportunity: Choose a word, name or phrase that begins with A through E (for a person’s name, it can be either first or last name), then add any letter of the alphabet – once or more – and define the result or show how it would be used, as in the above examples from previous contests, except for Empress > Temptress, which was just Steve’s example (and why, according to Empress, he suggested the letter-repeat variant). The E adds the A-to-E constraint because (1) it will help her have far more good entries than she can possibly run, and (2) she can repeat this contest four more times, yayyyy.

Send up to 25 posts to (no capital letters in the web address). Closing date for entries is Monday 13 June; Results will be in print July 3rd. June 30 online.

The winner gets the Clowning Success, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place gets a back scratcher made from a dried alligator hand, complete with four long claws. (If it’s not called a hand, it should be; it looks exactly like one.) Regifted from the Loser Crap Collection by Dave Zarrow, who won it for a limerick he wrote in 2004.

More runners-up win our loser mug “For Best Results, Pour Into End” or our grossery bag “Whole Fools” of your choice. Honorable Mentions receive one of our coveted Loser Magnets, A Small Jester of Appreciation or Close, but Ceci N’est Pas un Cigare. First time offenders only get a smelly, tree-shaped air freshener (FirStink for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at The headline “Re-Manes of the Day” is by Mark Raffman; Tom Witte wrote the subtitles for the honorable mentions. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at; Like the Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at; and follow @StyleInvite on twitter.

The style talk: The Empress’ weekly online column discusses each new competition and series of results. See this week, published late Thursday 2 June at

The You’re Invited Podcast: Eighteen half-hour episodes, including plates from the empress and the tsar, and tips from top losers. See

Re-mane of the day: ‘Grandfoals’ from Week 1487

As every year, in week 1483 we asked the losers to ‘breed’ any two names from a list of 100 of this year’s Triple Crown nominated racehorses and then name the ‘foal’ to reflect both names; eg Smarten Up was “bred” with Simplification to produce Dumben Down. Then, in the week 1487 follow-up competition, they bred any two of the foal names. So here are the best “grandfoals” among more than 2,200 entries.

No Knock Warrant x Lake Flaccid = dead in the water (Frank Mann, Washington)

Finals today are x Catch Some Z’s = Got some F’s (Andrew Hatziyannis, Rockville, Maryland)

and the stuffed animal flesh-eating disease;

Catch some Z’s x I the People = Nick Bonaparte (Pam Shermeyer, Village of Lathrup, Mich.)

And the winner of the clowning achievement:

Atom and Heave x Pig Penn = Flings before pigs (Laurie Brink, Mineola, New York)

C Biscuits: Honorable Mentions

Let’s Go Brandin’ x Aunt™ =We ® family (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Maryland)

Cloning Achievement x All Over the Road = one to many (Dave Matuskey, Sacramento)

All Over the Road x M*A*S*H Potatoes = Carpool Klinger (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Maryland)

Am Eric, an icon x wait Mr. Lincoln! = Am Eric, a cousin (Greg Dobbins, Boynton Beach, Florida)

Atom and Heave x Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: = chain reaction (Kevin Dopart, Washington)

Catch some Z’s x Die Happy = R.I.P. Van Winkle (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Virginia)

AlexanderTheGrape x Mr. Red = Pete Rose (Francis Canavan, Reston, Virginia)

Dead Gunslinger x SongAboutThatToo = Push up Doozies (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Maryland)

Decoder Ring x Pig Penn = Aha! IgpayAtlay! (Harold Mantle, Walnut Creek, California)

IV. League x Fat Man = prince clay (Ward Foeller, Charlottesville, Virginia)

IV League x M*A*S*H Potatoes = Cornell Potter (Rob Wolf)

Fat Man x Mona Visa = Lardo da Vinci (Rob Wolf)

Fat man x over Gra = Sydney Groin Street (Kevin Dopart)

Finals are today x Everything is missing = I dream that too (Mark Raffman, Reston, Virginia)

G Whizz x Everything is missing = G-Wizard (Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Virginia)

Hair on a G-string x Snippitydoodah = thong of the south (Mary McNamara, Washington; Chris Doyle, Denton, TX)

Jordan’s legacy x songAboutThat Too = scion fiction (Kevin Dopart)

House of Strings x Dumben Down = goading (John Klayman, Fairfax, Va.; Laura Bennett Peterson, Washington)

House of Strings x Everything is missing = Jos. A. empty (Roxi Slemp, Bariloche, Argentina)

House of Strings x Snippitydoodah = Snappy doula (Harold Mantle)

I caught a code x The little peephole = Rheum with a view (Jonathan Paul)

I the people x Erupt to No Good = I the pimple (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA)

I the people x Snippitydoodah = hubris (Kathy El Assal, Middleton, Wisconsin)

Love with one eye x songAboutThatToo = Sikelops (Brian Cohen, Winston-Salem, NC)

Love with one eye x Erupt to No Good = slyclops (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)

Everything is missing x Finals are today = Disappearing ACT (Laura Clairmont, Venice, Florida)

MoltenJoeDiMaggio x I caught a code = Mr Coughee (Matt Monitto, Bristol, Connecticut; Rob Wolf)

Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: x Give It Arrest = Break it up, Aretha! (Coleman Glenn, Huntingdon Valley, Pa.)

Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: x I caught a code = pangs of conscience (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.; Stephen Dudzik, Olney, Md.)

Resting Rich Face x SongAboutThatToo = Resting Mitch face (Stephen Dudzik)

Nobody says x M*A*S*H potatoes = SilenceOfTheYams (Karen Lambert, Chevy Chase, Md.)

About Gra x AFL-CIA = Cupid Perfect Union (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Maryland)

Why a derp? x Mona Visa = Duh Vinci (JD Berry, Springfield, Virginia)

Wine and Jeez x SongAbout ThatToo = Pinotcchio (Karen Lambert)

Downton Crabby x Fat Man = Quarrel and Hardy (Pamela Love, Columbia, Md.)

Downton Crabby x Finals are today = Downton Crammy (Jeff Contompasis)

AlexanderTheGrape x Down-Ton Grabby = Alexander Der Tapen (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Virginia; Rob Wolf)

Let’s Go Brandin’ x I the People = Le Tat C’est Moi (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Virginia)

Catch some Z’s x G Whiz = Rip Van Tinkle (Lewis Lesansky, Burke, Virginia)

Catch some Z’s x SongAbout-ThatToo = Fake snooze (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Maryland)

Catch some Z’s x Wine and Jeez = I need a napa (Lee Graham, Rockville, Maryland)

Clone success x legacy of Jordan = be like mike (David Letizia, Pinehurst, NC; Richard Franklin, Alexandria, Virginia)

Con Yak x Why a Derp? = Oxey idiot (Jonathan Hardis, Gaithersburg, Maryland; Kevin Dopart)

Dead Gunslinger x Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re: = Wild Bill Hiccups (Matt Monito)

Decoder Ring x The Wee People = ovalteeny (Joanne Free, Clifton, Virginia)

Fat Man x Mister Red = Chris Crispy (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Mich.)

The Happy x Sweeney Toad = Die Hoppy (Steve Glomb, Alexandria, Virginia)

Die Happy x Re:Re:Re: Re:Re:Re: = Die Yappy (Kate Sammons, Ashburn, Virginia)

Erupt to No Good x In the Hoods = Mount St Hellions (Perry Beider, Silver Spring, Md.)

Heir Jordans x IV League = ER Jordans (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Alabama)

Lake Flaccid x Sharp Dresser = Hanging drawers (Steve Smith, Potomac, Md.; Chris Doyle)

SongAboutThatToo x Catch some Z’s = bulldozer (Jeff Contompasis)

M*A*S*H potatoes x diapercussion = KP Doody (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Virginia)

M*A*S*H Potatoes x Mister Red = Major burns (JD Berry; Stephen Dudzik)

Everything is missing x IV league = Dazed & transfused (Frank Osen, Pasadena, California)

Dead Gunslinger x Heir of Jordan = Billy the GOAT (Bernard Brink, Cleveland, Mo.)

The real model! x Everything is missing = Heidi Klumsy (Stephen Gilberg, Silver Spring, Md.)

Sharp chest of drawers x says no one = Nice cardigan! (Leif Picoult, Rockville)

Downton Grabby x Mona Visa = Leonardo da Pinchy (Jess Rifkin)

Am Eric, an Icon x Lake Flaccid = leylo (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)

Wanderful Tonight x Resting Rich Face = Hobotox (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Virginia)

Mr Red x All Over the Road = Skid Marx (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

Erupt to No Good x Lake Flaccid = Escape to No Wood (Leif Picoult)

Still running – deadline also Monday, June 13: Our competition for songs about the news. See

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